Date:	2009-03-02 14:30
Subject:	The Boston report
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy
Music:	Vienna Teng - Augustine

So, the Boston trip was excellent in all ways.  First, the conference...it went tremendously well.  I was nervous, but my presentation went well and people seemed really, really into my work.  There I was, a cute, young lesbian in her lesbian power suit talking about blogs, pretty much as cutting edge as you can get in the world of literary studies...people seemed to totally dig it, and it felt great.  A lot of the half hour we had for discussion was spent talking about my work.

After the panel, the five presenters and our panel chair and some of the attendees went down to the hotel bar for drinks, and we had a nice chat.  My panel chair is co-editor of a collection on motherhood memoirs, and both she and her co-editor asked me more than once about submitting a proposal for a piece to include in the collection.  She told me she'd keep bugging me if I didn't send something in.  :)  So that was really cool, since it looks like this will end up with another publication for me. 

Boston itself was awesome as well.  On Friday, we did a bit of walking around, visited Boston Common and ate yummy falafel.  I had really wanted to ice skate at the Frog Pond, since I've never been on an outdoor ice skating rink, but when we were down there, the ice was melting and there was like at least two or three inches of water on top of the ice.  People who were falling down were coming back up SOAKED.  Not my idea of fun.  After that, we headed back to the hotel so I could get ready for my presentation.

After the presentation, we went out to dinner at this really cute French brasserie called Gaslight, had some good drinks, good wine, some great escargots, and awesome French fries.  Our (cute lesbian) waitress suggested we try this place called Beehive for drinks after dinner, which we did.  They had some live jazz music going on, so we listened to that while I sipped on this awesome champagne cocktail they called a "Bee Zen" - it had champagne and green tea liquor.  It was awesome to hang with Ali and celebrate my successful conference presentation.  Unfortunately, I let the celebrations get a little, ahem, out of hand, so I didn't get to wake up early and go to some other panels like I'd wanted, since I was instead fighting an awful hangover.

Nonetheless, Ali dragged me out of bed and we got some "drinkable fruit" because I was craving it...yummy smoothies which we took with us as we began our walk down the Freedom Trail.  My favorite stops on the Freedom Trail were the cemeteries and the USS Constitution.  And what the hell is up with Fanueil Hall?  Every person that I mentioned Boston to was like, "OMG, you have GOT to go to Fanueil Hall!  It's like, the best thing ever!!!!" But I don't know if we somehow missed something, or what, but I mean, it didn't seem like anything that great to me.  Just a bunch of touristy shops...so I don't know.  We did go into the Crate down there, and we also saw some very entertaining street performers as well.

Our walk down the Freedom Trail also took us through the North End, which is the Italian neighborhood.  We decided Italian sounded good for dinner, so Ali asked this guy we met in a shop there, who looked and sounded like he could be a cast member of the Sopranos, for a restaurant recommendation.  After getting back to our room and trying to thaw out again (it was way cold) after our Freedom Trail walk, we headed down to a pretty good, authentic Italian restaurant that the guy had recommended.  Our waitress there again suggested a bar for after-dinner drinks, which we went to (Mint Chocolate martini and Gingertini...yum)  and then finally we finished up with drinks at this awesome bar called Eastern Standard.

On Sunday morning when we got up it was snowing like crazy, which was very exciting.  I wanted to go out and enjoy the snow, but all wasn't to in to that, so I left him in the room to take a shower while I intended to walk the half mile to a bookstore to get something to read on the plane (instead of student papers).  I made it around the block before I got too cold...hehe.  After that we took the T down to this pizza place that was supposed to be really good, and had some yummy pizza.  Then, to the airport, and then home!

All in all, I'm totally into Boston...awesome city.  The people seemed super friendly, and I really enjoyed their restaurant and night life scene.  I wish I would have had some time to do a little shopping, go into some cute boutiques, etc, but it's probably better that I didn't - I am trying to save some money after all.  The weekend was way too short - it just gave me a taste of Boston and made me totally want to go back again when I can spend more time.  Oh, and also maybe I'll go back again when it won't be QUITE so cold.

So you can check out pics of all this madness in my new Boston photo album on Myspace.  As for me, it's back to work...those student papers unfortunately won't grade themselves.  :)

Date:	2009-02-15 07:25
Subject:	Sunday is for hatin'
Security:	Public
Mood:	annoyed

4:39 AM - I am awakened by the BLARING TV from my brother's room.  I had been having a dream in which this blaring TV took a part.  Something to do with some deaf person.  I pound on the door and yell for two minutes before he even realizes what's going on.

5:30 AM - my brother's phone alarm clock goes off.  Every single day, it goes off at 5:30, but I don't think he's ever actually gotten up that early.  Also, although the alarm is loud enough to wake me up, it never, ever wakes him up.  The alarm continues to go off until I go pound on his door and tell him to turn it off.

5:35 AM - evidently he just hit snooze, cause it's going off again.  Again, I get up and pound on the door to get him to turn it off.

5:40 AM - yup, you guessed it.  More alarm, more pounding.

5:45 AM - I pound on his door and yell "GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!!!!"  He assures me he's actually turned it off this time.

6:10 AM - my OWN alarm goes off and I have to get up to get ready for work. 

This is a surefire way to wake up pissed off.  Now I get to go to work and help engaged couples register for stuff.  My role in all of this: demonstrating the knives.  Probably not a great idea to give someone in my frame of mind a bunch of sharp knives, eh? :)

Better run so I can get some coffee on the way in...

Date:	2009-02-06 08:01
Subject:	Thoughts before embarking
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	Carolina Liar - Show Me What I'm Looking For

Here is a list of random thoughts regarding things that I have seen or done in the last week. 

1.  I don't understand how some people are as stupid as they are.  I was looking at apps to download for my new iPhone (!) and was reading user reviews.  I noticed that VERY often, people would give something a one-star rating but would have a comment like "great app!  You must download this!"  And I think that these morons obviously didn't realize that one star is bad, five is good.  Seriously?  Even further proving vast stupidity: I was looking at one app called iStethoscope which uses your iPhone's microphone and headphones to turn it in to a stethoscope so you can hear your heart or your pulse in your neck and supposedly listen through doors (I have succeeded in the former, but not in the latter).  Many, many user reviews commented that they were unable to use the app because they didn't know where to find their pulse.  Again, seriously?

2.  In watching Dante's Peak the other day, I couldn't help but wonder if the small town, female mayor of the city wasn't just a little like Sarah Palin.  Also, I laugh every time I watch that movie because first off the dialogue is so ridiculous, but the names are downright stupid.  Two of the main characters are named Terry and Harry, which is dumb.  In real life, yes, it is likely that people could work with people who have very similar or even the same names, but come on - this is a movie!  You writers get to MAKE UP whatever name you want!  And speaking of making up names, the name of the mayor is Mayor Wando.  Now say that out loud, and it sounds a LOT like marijuana (especially when Pierce Brosnan says it).  I can't believe that this would be accidental.  Cause what kind of name is Wando?

3.  I can't believe I just wasted time writing a whole paragraph about Dante's Peak.

4.  I am excited to be going to Houston today for a weekend with the girls.  Yay!  I am also excited because the weather there is supposed to be sunny and in the high 70s/low 80s.  How awesome is that?  I actually really like Houston as a town, in spite of the bad rap it often gets.  There's a lot to do there, a lot of really great food/drink, good cultural stuff, and of course I have a lot of pleasant memories associated with hanging out there.  I just can't go there between the months of, like, May and October, because I will immediately keel over and die from the horrible heat/humidity.

So, I best go pack my shorts and stuff to head out.  :)

Date:	2009-01-18 23:30
Subject:	Make/Break
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful
Music:	Mandalay - This Life

It is said that it takes two weeks to make a new habit or to break an old one.  This year I'd like to put that to the test with a number of things that I want to get done.  It's an ambitious list, but I feel at least some of it will get done!

Habits to Make
- put away shoes every day! (seriously, I have a lot of shoes, and they are EVERYWHERE - I leave them in the car, wherever I throw them when I come in after a long day, even right next to the shoe rack instead of putting them on it)
- make bed every day
- read a book a week (or if it's a really long one, a book every two weeks)
- write fiction every day
- meditate/chant mantras everyday (at least once a day, but preferably morning and night)
- run, lift weights, or cross train every day except Saturday
- invent and bake a new cake every week (my friends/coworkers will likely find this one especially beneficial)
- do something social (hang out with friends, see a movie with friends, etc) at least once a week
- rock climb at least once a week
- grade all papers within two days of receiving them (or at least START grading by then)
- drink more water - with my medical condition, it's absurd I'm not doing this already (to get started on this, I have a fabulous new water bottle!)
- practice yoga at least twice a week
- watch something on French TV daily to keep up my French skills

Habits to Break
- complaining about students (I think it gets very boring, but if you actually find it entertaining, let me know, and I'll keep it up!)
- wearing jeans/other casual clothing to work.  In other words, be the fabulous, glam, femme lesbian that I know I am. :)
- do not buy books until all the other books are read!
- wasting time on the internet (there is no need to check Facebook/myspace/email more than once, max twice a day, and all the other blogs and random stuff I read once weekly)
- buying yarn/fiber/other craft stuff until I actually intend to use it.  Work through the already existing stash!
- less being shy and self-conscious and socially awkward.  Again, being the fabulous, glam, femme lesbian that I know I am.  Hehe :)

I admit, the middle of January is a little late to be setting resolutions, but it's never too late to start, right?  Since I have a lot of ideas here, I'm going to start with a couple basic ones: my main goals right now are putting away shoes, making bed, and drinking more water.  We'll see if it becomes habit within two weeks.

So, my dear readers, your turn - what goals do you want to meet in 2009? 

Last night when we all got back from my brother's birthday dinner, we found that the dogs had gotten into the pantry and helped themselves to 3 ounces of baking chocolate.  My dad took them both to the emergency vet, who told us that this amount is half the lethal dose for dogs, and without treatment, half the dogs who eat this amount would die.  So even though we suspected it was just Mia who had done the deed, both the dogs got to puke their guts out.  Katie was vindicated when it was proven she had eaten no chocolate, but if I was her I'd be pissed.  Next time she sees Mia getting into stuff, maybe she'll try to stop her.

Date:	2009-01-17 09:29
Subject:	Hostage situation
Security:	Public
Mood:	good
Music:	The Daily Show

In the last two nights I've had odd dreams that I'm sure have some sort of subconscious meaning, since they both dealt with an odd juxtaposition of teaching and captivity.

Case in point number one: I dreamed I was teaching my first day of class, when I heard an obnoxiously loud, high-pitched buzzing, like so loud that everyone was covering their ears and freaking out.  I went out into the hallway to see where it was coming from, and when I looked back into the room, I saw my students were being abducted by aliens.  I started running away, and some students were doing so as well.  We had to climb over piles and piles of jewelry and books and other possessions of the students who were being abducted, which somehow had all ended up outside in the hallways. 

Case in point number two: I signed up for a conference time with one of my professors (who actually was a former professor of mine), and she asked me to meet her at her house.  I've been to lots of professors' houses before, so I didn't think anything of it, but when I got there, she wouldn't let me leave.  Weeks passed.  It became evident that I had been kidnapped, and I started to make efforts to escape.  She would leave during the day and I would try to find ways to get out or to contact people to help me, but she had thought of everything before I did.  She would bring me things she thought I would like to make me happy, and she would always get really upset when she realized I'd tried to get out, because she couldn't understand why I didn't want to stay with her.  Eventually she started taking me out in public places, like the grocery store or the park, which gave me more opportunities to try to escape.  In one dramatic moment, I broke away from her at a park, and I started running.  When I ran toward the parking lot, I saw two cops getting into a police car, and I started screaming at them to stop, but they didn't hear me.  They started driving away just as I ran up, and I was running after them, waving my arms and screaming, but they didn't see me or else just didn't stop.  Then, when I turned around, my professor was standing right there.  It was creepy.

Anyway, this combination of these two odd dreams struck me as interesting.  Any little Freuds out there with some insight? :)

Date:	2009-01-15 00:21
Subject:	Save me from the babies!
Security:	Public
Mood:	weird
Music:	Leigh Nash - Ocean Size Love

I am really, really, really tired of reading lesbian parenting blogs.  It is so exhausting for some reason.  And oh my god, I've only read like, two blogs in their entirety (and I have somewhere around TWENTY that I want to read). 

The interesting part: it is quite intriguing.  I read about the lives of these people that I don't know, have never met, etc...some have been blogging for three, four years, through some very serious shit.  And after reading all of this, I feel very close to these women.  I feel like I know them personally.  I have emailed one and would have emailed the other if I could have found her address, and will probably email others after I have dug into their lives via their blogs.  And actually, based on what I've read of them, I have good feelings about their willingness to help me with my project.  So much for, I don't know, researcher objectivity.

But also, this project has started to really fuck with my head, baby-wise.  We all know that Lisa with a baby would be such a bad idea...I joke that my friends would probably start calling CPS the moment I conceived, and they probably wouldn't be wrong to do so..haha.  In theory, I think I might raise an interesting child.  I would probably try to raise it speaking only French in the home, eating vegan food, playing the piano from age 2, etc.  Basically raising someone to be as pretentious as I am.  :)  Still, I can't see how that would go well.  One thing I've taken from this research experience is that even very, very young babies have this little thing called free will, and their own personalities, and I'm really not the kind of person that would do well with my child arguing with me about wanting to drink Mountain Dew (vile, poisonous stuff!) and listen to Britney Spears (again, vile, poisonous stuff!) instead of eating tofu and listening to Mozart (or at least indie rock).

So anyway, all this reading about babies has just gotten my subconscious going.  Last night I dreamed that I'd had a baby and was keeping it on my nightstand in my room, in some sort of a small box.  I was looking at it when all of a sudden another baby popped out of me...it was like, an odd, visceral feeling, and I thought, huh, I didn't even know I was pregnant, nor how I got that way!  And I put this baby in another box on my dresser.  It was very odd.  Probably had something to do with the fact that I'd been reading the blogs for a good 2-3 hours before bed....and I've done the same tonight, so I guess I could perhaps expect similar madness in my dreams tonight.

But in addition to that, I seem to be running across motherhood/pregnancy everywhere I look.  I turn on the radio and a show about labor and delivery is on.  I turn on the TV and a show about labor and delivery is on (not surprising, since my TV was tuned to TLC since I'd been watching What Not to Wear earlier, and that and pregnancy shows are about the extent of their programming).  Obviously it's always been there, but it stands out more when it becomes the focus of one's attention.

Anyway, I'm not sure if there's a point to this rambling nonsense other than to work out some of the odd thoughts in my head as a result of this work.  It's sort of a good feeling, though, to give myself over completely to my research in this way.  It's sort of...respectable and honorable, I feel, like I'm taking this seriously and not doing it in the sort of half-assed way that I've done other (okay, pretty much ALL) of my projects in the past.

Okay, enough of this.  Bedtime, hopefully sans odd/creepy baby dreams.

Date:	2009-01-07 23:17
Subject:	On the first tattoo (and that would also be the LAST tattoo)
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick
Music:	Anya Marina - I Want to Move You

Knee brace for bum left knee: $20


Entrance fee to marathon: $100


First tattoo to commemorate the first marathon: $40


Having a friend to document every moment of the excruciating pain that is getting a tattoo on your ankle bone: priceless


Having a friend who's willing to have your thumb ring imprinted on her hand as you squeeze it to death during the excruciating pain: even more priceless

Date:	2008-12-15 19:42
Subject:	The aftermath of a crazy semester
Security:	Public
Mood:	sore
Music:	Acroma - Sun Rises Down

So, I'm a little more than 12 hours away from my marathon. I've just eaten a revolting amount of pasta, and I've had about 2 liters of water to drink today already. (Yet I'm still thirsty, as always.) Now I'm baking cupcakes for my post-marathon shindig - yum.

For those of you keeping score at home, here's a little info for you.

- my bib number is 6623, if you want to track me on the website I linked to in my last post.
- If you are keeping score at home, you might find that getting text messages or watching me progress along a map doesn't really mean much. Allow me to help you with that! Since I didn't get to train the way I wanted to, I'm aiming for a time that I consider almost shamefully slow (but hey, at least I'm running the thing, right?): 4 hours and 30 minutes. You can see if I'm keeping on pace by checking out this split listing (a split, in case you're not a runner, is the time for a segment of a race, in this case by mile). Who knows - maybe you'll even find me way ahead of pace. :)

The weather is really looking good for tomorrow, except for the wind. According to the newspaper, tomorrow's high of 75 puts us 30 degrees above the optimal temperature for running. I don't know about that, but today I did a few test runs of my equipment, since it was about the temperature that it will be at the start tomorrow. Good thing I did. First, I went out with running tights, a tank top, and a sweatshirt, with my 8 fuel gel packets (yummy gels for eating during the race) in pouches clipped to my waistband. In a quick jog around the block, my pouches nearly pulled down my pants and fell twice. I was also sweating and HOT by the time I'd done, so I went back in and stripped off the tights but kept the sweatshirt and found a fanny pack to put my gels in. A second go-around, and I was STILL hot, and my fanny pack was bouncing up and down. On my third go-around, I ditched the sweatshirt too, and did some creative things with electrical tape to keep my fanny pack from bouncing around. I think now I'm set. I will say this: when I made a conscious effort to run on pace (10:18 per mile), it felt SOO slow. So who knows, maybe I'll blow away my pace and finish quickly enough to qualify for Boston. ;)

I'm also really excited because I made myself a perfectly timed mix for the run. If I stay on pace, I'll be hearing music that I have specifically chosen for each particular point of the race. Yes, I'm a dork. :)

Date:	2008-12-11 23:26
Subject:	Exciting developments
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited

Oh, it feels sooooo good.....the semester is finally over. I just have to turn in my grades (which will take all of two seconds) and then I am DONE.

As things have been winding down in the last few days, I've taken some much needed relaxation time. Even given that, though, I feel like I'm still in this super overachiever mode. Here are some things I've done in the last 48 hours:
- finished and submitted the draft of my entry for the Encyclopedia of Motherhood (my first publication!)
- fixed the handle on my desk that's been broken for 3 months
- fixed the drawers on my entertainment center that have been broken for 4 months
- watched : Time Code (weird), Compulsion (an oldie but goodie), Dark Knight, Darjeeling Limited (one of my faves), Hancock (cute), The X-Files (disappointingly crappy, even though I knew it wasn't going to be that good), The Illusionist, and part of this weird Japanese movie called Rashomon. Yes, that's almost eight movies in 48 hours.
- knit most of the front of a sweater. To put that in perspective, the near-identical back took close to three weeks to knit.
- excavated my office. I can now walk across the entire length of the room without having to step over ANY piles of books. I can see the top of my desk AND my table (I have seen neither in months). There are NO student papers in here, except some that I've filed away in my filing cabinet. It is beyond wonderful.

So now I've set my sights on my next big task: run the marathon on Sunday. I'm getting very excited, but also a little nervous. I know I'll do fine, but having not been able to train on any sort of consistent basis for a month has been very difficult. I'm also a little concerned about the weather: Sunday's high is 75, but the low is 38. That's a pretty intense temperature spread, so what I start out wearing will almost certainly be uncomfortably hot by the end. Since my mom wants to bring people to come and cheer, I talked her into coming to a point somewhere in the middle of the course, preferably after the lake portion. That way I can hand off any extraneous clothing and not arrive burdened at the finish line. The other concern is wind - the forecast calls for wind gusts up to 22 mph, which according to Wikipedia's entry on the "Beaufort scale," classifies it as a "Strong Gale" force wind. Hmm, sounds lovely. Either way, I'm sure it'll be fun, and I'm really looking forward to it.

(Edit: okay, so I misread the Beaufort scale: that wasn't in miles per hour, but meters per second. Haha. So, 22 mph corresponds to medium to strong breeze, in which you can expect difficulty in using umbrellas and medium branches starting to sway. So it still wont' be pleasant, but it isn't going to knock me down or anything.)

So, because all of you net people are no doubt big Lisa fans (otherwise why would you be reading this?), you perhaps would like to cheer me on, either in person or virtually. Luckily for you, you CAN! Here are some ways:

If you are in Dallas:
- come cheer for me! I'll be wearing black running tights, perhaps a blue hat, and I'll be running most likely somewhere between 9:30 and 10:45 minutes per mile, so you can plan accordingly about where to be and when.
- watch live coverage of the race on Channel 8

If you are not in Dallas:
- Sign Up for Race-Day Runner Text Message Tracking, which will keep you informed of my progress. You must sign up before 5 p.m. on Saturday, December 11 for this service. Enter runner name here!
- Track Runner Progress Online During the Race: Want to see runner progress on an online map during the race? You can view progress of up to 4 runners at a time on our interactive map. To see runner progress, you will need to know the runner bib number. (I will post my bib number after I pick it up tomorrow)Click here on race day to track runner progress...



So, yay for all of that. Now I'm going to go watch another movie (called Smart People) and see if I can't finish the rest of that sweater front.

Date:	2008-12-02 17:59
Subject:	signs that a semester of craziness has fried your brain
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Antaeus - Motherese

1.  you initially type in the title above as "signs that a semester of craziness has fried your brown"
2.  you make two dozen cupcakes, but forget to put oil in any of them, forcing you to make another batch, which is really the last thing you had time for (if you ever wondered if cupcakes actually needed oil, the answer is yes.  Most definitely yes)
3.  when you decide to go to the bookstore to treat yourself to a little "light" reading, you end up picking out a cultural history of an 1854 London cholera outbreak (this isn't so much a sign of brain-fry as it is an indication of how deep and heavy my reading load has been, when this looks light in comparison)
4.  nothing, absolutely nothing, can get you to read this goddamn book about the labor feminist movement, so you instead read that cholera book while the cupcakes bake (ordinarily, I might actually enjoy the labor feminist book, but I simply couldn't muster the will to read it for class tonight)
5.  the thought of grading 150 papers by Monday inspires a bi-polar reaction: on the one hand, it seems like an exciting challenge; on the other, it makes you want to cry and pound your head repeatedly against a firm surface)

Date:	2008-12-01 16:20
Subject:	On babies and women
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Paolo Nutini - Autumn Leaves

Date:	2008-11-26 09:54
Subject:	More to be thankful about
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	Chopin - Marche Funebre

Yesterday afternoon, feeling burnt out but with still at least ten pages to write on my political history paper, I took a break to check my email.  In it, I found an email entitled "Your Maternal Notion Proposal" - a response to an abstract I'd sent awhile ago to a professor editing a collection of essays on challenging traditional notions of motherhood.  In my grouchy, burnt out state, I expected to open it and find "REJECTED!"  But I didn't!  My essay was accepted for publication in a book!

My editor (I now have an editor!) is a professor of English, and she has written one book (which UNT's library carries, so I hope that this collection, too, will be widely carried).  This means that, in the next year or two, I'm going to have work appearing in two books (this one and the motherhood encyclopedia).  I can't even begin to explain how excited that makes me.

Beyond just the sheer excitement, I feel so pleased and thankful.  I have never in my life worked as hard as I'm doing right now.  Nothing even comes close.  To finally see my hard work to begin to pay off - it's just so gratifying.  And it also just feels right, and I feel like it's a really good state of mind to be in as I'm sending off grad apps.  I feel like a real scholar.  I put the first three application packets in the mail Monday, and while I was doing it, I felt good about what I was sending off, unlike in the past.  Last year, I had this writing sample that I thought was kind of stupid, a statement of purpose that I felt was a little lackluster, recommendation letters that I felt dubious about, and a couple of child's-play conferences on my CV.  Now, it's such a different ballgame - my writing sample is worlds betters, the professor I showed my statement of purpose to was amazed by it, my recommendation letters are coming from awesome people, and my CV has some nice new additions. 

Anyway, I won't go on and on (partly because I've got a LOT to do today), but I feel really happy and thankful, and I hope all of you readers can have something to be thankful about as well!

So most of the local news stations had coverage of the protest, and I am in ABC's in addition to DMN's. In case anyone wants to see my two seconds of fame, check me out here around 52 seconds in.

http://www.wfaa.com/video/wfaageneral-index.html?nvid=304102&shu=1

Date:	2008-11-16 22:38
Subject:	Making the news
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	The Script - Fall For Anything

So, I was at my first peaceful protest/demonstration/whatever today. It was a great experience and I left feeling really excited about community activism and involvement. Once the madness of this semester is over I want to get more involved with the GLBT community.

There were over 1,000 people at the protest - I think I read 1200, maybe. Oh, and then there were the 8 or so counter protesters who got on a bullhorn and started yelling stuff about God's wrath or whatever. Toward the end, everyone got really fired up and we had several chants of things like "Yes We Can," "Equal Rights," and all of that. It was really great to see lots of straight allies in the crowd (including our very own Shannon!), and also to know that, at that exact moment at city halls across the country, thousands if not millions of people stood together against hatred and discrimination.

I think one of the most important moments for me was when one woman from Stonewall Democrats got up and said something to this effect: "Yes, we're all angry about Prop 8 passing. We're angry at Mormons and other people who pushed for Yes on 8. But that's not constructive, because the people we should really be angry at are OURSELVES, because we didn't do enough to win out this time. But let this inspire you to do something - give money, volunteer your time, get a law degree, or WHATEVER. But do something." And I do want to do something - it may not be a law degree, but I believe, as I've avowed many, many times, that academia and activism are not separate endeavors. So I really hope that I can get into some PhD programs so I can start changing things from the inside, so to speak. It may not do much to change the world right away, but doing the kind of work I want to do is important.

Anyway, off of my soap box. The protest was exciting, and I made the news! :) I was literally right in front of the stage where people were speaking, and there were tons of cameras around me. I'm sure when coverage goes up other places, you'll see more of me, but for now, you can spot me on the Dallas Morning News's video coverage. If you go to the page below, there's a link about halfway down the page for the video, and on the freeze frame, I'm right in the middle, wearing all black and sunglasses and holding a sign that says "Protect my rights - I am equal!" (courtesy of Shannon). You can also see me at the center of the frame during several shots of the crowd.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/111608dnmetprop8protest.1b72a49ee.html

Also, someone put a picture of me up on Facebook. My sign is mostly covering my face, but it's me! :)


So, thanks to all who stood up today, and for those of you who didn't, please consider giving of your time in the future!

Date:	2008-11-12 17:01
Subject:	Clearing the hurdles
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	Marie Digby - Miss Invisible

I can breathe a sigh of relief, because as of about a minute ago, I am DONE with a major, major hurdle for the semester: my term paper over the 1973 declassification of homosexuality from the DSM, which is also going to be my writing sample for my grad apps.  Phew.  The thing came out to 17 pages (26 if you count the bibliography - 53 sources - and the endnotes - 59 of them).  I feel pretty pleased about it, and I hope that my professor and the people on the admissions committee will feel the same. 

I will say one thing about writing this paper - after reading the homophobic drivel scholarly texts of a number of medical model proponents (ie, those that thought homosexuality WAS a mental illness), I started to feel kind of bad about myself as a lesbian.  Late last night, after working on the thing for five hours straight, I was starting to think...I wonder...I mean, what if these guys were right?  What if this is just mental illness, traceable to problems with men, and all I need is a creepy-looking psychiatrist (cause they all looked a little creepy to me) and before you know it, I'll be blissfully wedded and raising children?  And then I realized how ridiculous that was and decided to deface the most offensive of the books.  :)  I did do it in pencil, though, and it was really small - someone had written in the table of contents, below the section where the creepy psychiatrist writes about the removal from the DSM, "they took it out of the DSM - big mistake!"  Below that, I wrote "only if you believe this homophobic B/S."  So there you go.  I've defaced my first (and most likely last) library book. 

I just realized that I referred to my paper twice as "the thing" in this entry.  Hmm.  Anyway, if you are interested in this (I promise, it's actually kind of interesting and engaging), and you'd like to read the thing, let me know.  Now I'm off to enjoy my reward for my hard work - baking a batch of blueberry corn muffins.  Yum.

Date:	2008-11-05 21:22
Subject:	An open letter....
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy

Dear Monterey County,
You know that I love you dearly.  Your wines move me, your weather is phenomenal, and I can only dream that one day I will be able to retire, an old hippie, to Carmel-by-the-Sea, one of your esteemed cities.  But for the love of God, Monterey County, what are you doing out there with your precincts?  CNN is still refusing to call Prop 8 because only 65% of your precincts are reporting.  Right now, you're firmly voting no on Prop 8, which I appreciate, but can you please, please get those other 35% of your votes counted?  I have serious doubts about whether they would be enough to swing the vote even if they were all against, but it would just be nice to have some closure.

Love,
Your friendly Texas (but native Californian, and hopefully soon-to-be-prodigal daughter!) lesbian

P.S. I know the true meaning of "prodigal" is wasteful, profligate, etc, which would be the last thing most people would call me.  I'm using it more in the popular culture sense of the Biblical story of the prodigal son, as in a child who leaves but returns repentant.  Which I will do.

Date:	2008-11-05 08:44
Subject:	Things that make you go hmmm...
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	The Cranberries - Zombie

Being the election junkie I am, I've been perusing CNN's website while I, uh, watch CNN obsessively, and in doing so, I've come across a few amusing and/or curious things.

1.  In an exit poll, voters were asked how they would feel if McCain/Obama was elected: excited, optimistic, concerned, or scared.  18% of those who responded that they would be concerned if McCain was elected <i>voted for McCain</i>.  Why the hell would you do that? 

2.  CNN is reporting on their website that, according to exit polls, Prop 8 is set to narrowly lose 53-47%, meaning gay marriage would be safe (for the time being).  However, with 95% of precincts reporting, Prop 8 is currently winning at 52-48%.  A quick perusal of those precincts that still haven't finished reporting reveals that many of them have overwhelmingly been voting yes.  So I guess either the exit polls are not representative or people lied on them.  But I still feel optimistic that it might lose.  Right now, with 5% more votes to be counted, it's winning by 400,000 votes.  I don't know how many are left to count, but hey, it's not over till it's over.

3.  CNN's website shows a breakdown of voting by county.  In the counties where I've applied for schools in CA (Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Orange, and Santa Clara), two - Santa Clara and Santa Barbara - gave a strong defeat to Prop 8.  Los Angeles was pretty much a toss up, but it ended up going in favor of Prop 8 by about 17,000 votes.  And Orange County, aka Republicanville defeated it.  So there you go.

4.  Did anyone else think that Sarah Palin looked like she was/had been crying during McCain's concession speech?  I had to feel kind of bad for both of them. Especially when he said that bit about "this is not your failure; it is mine."  On Saturday Night Live last week, he appeared on the Weekend Update and talked about new "strategies" his campaign would be trying, one of which he termed the "Sad Grandpa."  I couldn't help but feel a little bit that he was the sad grandpa standing up there.  But still, I'm pretty damn happy Obama won.  :)

Now I shall head off to work, and when I come home, I will try to avoid looking at election news and instead work on my paper that I'm ridiculously behind on.

Date:	2008-11-04 23:57
Subject:	A new era?
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic

I'm so very pleased, but I can hardly believe it.  Indeed, fortunes have turned.  Not only has Obama won, but he has done so quite handily.  I enjoyed watching the race this evening, and can't help but feel that there's something of the momentous to the whole experience.  I went to my political history class, where we had a brief sort of discussion of our readings before our prof let us go two hours early...but not before we pulled up the latest results on the computer and celebrated (well, the couple of McCain supporters were a little bummed). 

After, I headed over to the Flying Saucer to meet up with Farshad and Shannon, and I kept my eyes on the TV screen near by that was tuned to CNN.  Every so often, when they'd call a state for Obama, everyone would cheer, and it was so exciting.  When McCain got on to do his concession speech the whole place was silent.  Absolutely silent.  I've never been in a bar that went that silent.  It felt very momentous, and I feel that everyone there knew we were witnessing a truly historical moment.

I left after his speech was over and made it home just in time to see Obama's speech, which I liked.  After this evening and seeing his speech, I feel really good and hopeful.  Before, I've always felt kind of like an outsider in a conservative nation, which kind of freaked me out.  I've felt that the things that I wanted for myself and my country were not within my reach, in spite of my best efforts, that it didn't matter how much I tried or cared or hoped.  Before this, I'd voted in two presidential elections and a couple of other minor elections, but in the almost nine years I've been able to vote, I have not once voted for a winning candidate. 

Maybe it's just the excitement of the moment, but I do feel a sense of hope, not just for our country, but also for myself.  I'm really proud to have voted for the first African American president, and I'm really pleased that the US has done this.  But perhaps most of all, I feel like I can believe now that underdogs can win, and that it isn't necessarily wrong or out of line for me to hope that I can accomplish something as great as getting into grad school at one of the places I want.  If a young, African American junior senator can be elected president, can't I, an intelligent, motivated girl, accomplish the things I dream of?  I hope so.  Time will tell if the tides have turned for me as well.  :)  Either way, it's a great feeling to have a new president-elect that I feel good about standing behind.

Now if only prop 8 would fail in California....unfortunately it's not looking good.